For the Love of Pie: A Babyfat Amazon Giveaway

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Hey You!

Yeah...you....

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Come on over here QUICK

I don't have a lot of time. Mainly because the internet keeps breaking or squarespace keeps crashing and I've written the same FUCKING BLOG POST five times now since fucking yesterday and OHMYGAWDFMOMMYMAKEITSTAHP. 

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In the interest of not losing my shit over here ...

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...let's just cut to the chase and leave the literary witticisms for another day. That's a word, right? I think it's a word. Autocorrect said it's a word and we can all trust autocorrect based on that time I applied for a PR job and then didn't get the call because being an expert in Pubic Relations - while impressive in its own right - is not skill set frequently connected with writing press releases.

*Blog crashes*

*Pauline flips off the internet. We've still got a blog post, bitches!*

Where was I again? Oh, right, I was gonna tell you about...

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*Blog crashes* 

*Pauline side-eyes the internet*

Mother Fuc... 

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GODDAMMIT, JUST CLICK HERE TO ENTER MY AMAZON GIVEAWAY FOR A CHANCE AT ONE OF TWO CHANCES AT A COPY OF BABYFAT. 

*Hits Save*

*Blog crashes*

And I'm done. 

*drops mic and saunters offstage* 

PS: I've been told I'm a very engaging author because I talk to my readers. I'm also in the mood for pie today but can't have any. Since I can't have any, I wanna know what your favorite kind is. Talk to me about your favorite pie, internet. And I better not see the words "sugar - and -fat-free in these comments. Make mama proud. 

 

BabyFat: Blog Tour Update

I've got dreams, y'all.

Yeah, my sights might be set on the big stuff like the NYT bestseller list and all that jazz, but for now I need to give some major thanks to the bloggers taking part in the BabyFat Blog Tour.  So far, Andrea Bates, Eileen Carter-Campos, Tiffany Taylor, and Melanie Mendez-Gonzales have given graciously of their very precious time to read and share their thoughts on their blogs. 

I'm reposting the schedule for you to follow along. There'll be giveaways for signed copies and free ebooks and all that, so please support the ladies supporting my book because they are my friends and yours! I've heard so many times from my readers how much they love BabyFat and I am thrilled to hear these words. Even if you've already got your own copy already, feel free to en enter the giveaways to come and pass on your winnings to a friend for Christmas! See? Win-win for EVERYBODY! 

The BabyFat Blog Tour

Nov. 3- Katie Sluiter, www.sluiternation.com

Nov. 10- Rita Arens, www.surrenderdorothy.com

Nov. 17- Sarah Fader, www.oldschoolnewschoolmom.com

Nov. 23- Aliza Worthington, www.theworthingtonpost.com

Dec. 3-Diane Davis Lang, www.momofali.com

 

#BabyFat: Fermented Grape Juice

 

 

It's short and sweet on the text because time is short and my brain is fried. September 28 is almost here. And I should totally be sleeping right now. Before moving on,read to the end and click for details on my newsletter and a few contests! For now, it's catch-up time.

This @LivingtheScream lady....she speaks Truth. I think you should follow her and tell her that Chapter 12 is totally her bitch.   

This @LivingtheScream lady....she speaks Truth. I think you should follow her and tell her that Chapter 12 is totally her bitch. 

 

Chapter 12 and @ScandalousRed. Seems pretty legit to me.   

Chapter 12 and @ScandalousRed. Seems pretty legit to me. 

 

  My mom doesn't even know what a blog actually is, @lifewithroozle. I'm kind of jealous. I'll see you on Chapter 14.

 

My mom doesn't even know what a blog actually is, @lifewithroozle. I'm kind of jealous. I'll see you on Chapter 14.

Go ahead, read this one again. You know you want to. @NuckingFutsMama is a comedic gem and Chapter 15 is her baby. 

Go ahead, read this one again. You know you want to. @NuckingFutsMama is a comedic gem and Chapter 15 is her baby. 

  And this is why @dirtydishtowels is my favorite person I've never met. Hello Chapter 16. You're looking pretty sassy. 

 

And this is why @dirtydishtowels is my favorite person I've never met. Hello Chapter 16. You're looking pretty sassy. 

Feel free to share the living bajeebus out of these quotables, Internet. Have your way with them on social media! Just be sure to tag me and remember the #babyfat hashtag, please and thank you. I'll be back with more tomorrow. Twenty-eight chapters and five new graphics per day and launch in less than a week? I got this. 

Don't forget! I am hosting a special giveaway for you pre-order peeples. Anyone who purchases the kindle version through September 27 and emails me a copy of your receipt will be in the running for a signed copy of Brittany GibbonsFat Girl Walking. Sister-girl is kicking ass with her latest book and I am so excited to offer her book as a prize for my readers. To be eligible, email me at aspiringmama@gmail.com and write "BabyFat Preorder Contest" in the subject line. Contest is open to US and Canada only. 

Don't forget to click for details on my newsletter contest. Anyone who signs up by launch day is eligible for a signed copy of BabyFat (one winner!) And every Tuesday night at 8 p.m. I'll be on Periscope and 9 p.m. EST through launch day I'll be on Blab hosting a live reading from the book and taking your questions. It's been fun! (@MiVidaMama won a signed copy of BabyFat yesterday!) I cannot wait to laugh with y'all again! 

See you tomorrow, Internet. 

BabyFat: In Which We Play Catch-Up

I'm hiding. It's a move probably not listed in any How to Write A Bestseller books or publisher/agent posts and magazine articles. But it's what I do when Big Things are Happening and right now, Good Things are a-happening in droves.

See Also: Complaints from Writers that Used to Make Me Want to Bitch-Slap Them.

See Also: I'm too pretty for prison.

So, I'm supposed to be posting my BabyFat Chapter lead-in tweet quotes. I'm also supposed to be sleeping, but let's not get all Expect-y and Hopeful-y. I'll get there eventually, Internet. Before moving on, read to the end and click for details on my newsletter and a few contests! For now, it's catch-up time.

I do believe I listed this one from @vicariouschels as the chapter 5 tweet. It isn't. I'm just that unorganized. This tweet belongs to chapter 7.     

I do believe I listed this one from @vicariouschels as the chapter 5 tweet. It isn't. I'm just that unorganized. This tweet belongs to chapter 7. 

 

 

Because @thenextmartha owns chapter 8 like a boss.     

Because @thenextmartha owns chapter 8 like a boss. 

 

 

And the toddler in question is now six years older than at the time referenced in this tweet. This one leads off Chapter 9. Words by @xjaeva.    

And the toddler in question is now six years older than at the time referenced in this tweet. This one leads off Chapter 9. Words by @xjaeva.

 

 

Chapter 10. I love Kathy Bouska of @mamakatslosinit. I think she should trademark this idea as an exercise program. The DVDs can be pinterest tutorials and which Facebook tests are the best for breaking up the monotony of procrastination.     

Chapter 10. I love Kathy Bouska of @mamakatslosinit. I think she should trademark this idea as an exercise program. The DVDs can be pinterest tutorials and which Facebook tests are the best for breaking up the monotony of procrastination. 

 

 

Hello Chapter 11! I don't know about you, but Momo still owes me a glass of that homemade wine. Thanks for sharing @momofali!

Hello Chapter 11! I don't know about you, but Momo still owes me a glass of that homemade wine. Thanks for sharing @momofali!

Feel free to share the living bajeebus out of these quotables, Internet. Have your way with the, on social media because I need your help to keep the Amazon Hot New Release momentum going through September 28 for the official launch! Just be sure to tag me and remember the #babyfat hashtag, please and thank you. I'll be back with more tomorrow. Twenty-eight chapters and five new graphics per day and launch in less than a week? I got this. 

Don't forget! I am hosting a special giveaway for you pre-order peeples. Anyone who purchases the kindle version through September 27 and emails me a copy of your receipt will be in the running for a signed copy of Brittany GibbonsFat Girl Walking. Sister-girl is kicking ass with her latest book and I am so excited to offer her book as a prize for my readers. To be eligible, email me at aspiringmama@gmail.com and write "BabyFat Preorder Contest" in the subject line. Contest is open to US and Canada only. 

Don't forget to click for details on my newsletter contest. Anyone who signs up by launch day is eligible for a signed copy of BabyFat! And every Tuesday night at 8 p.m. I'll be on Periscope and 9 p.m. EST through launch day I'll be on Blab hosting a live reading from the book and taking your questions. It's been fun! (@CommonSenseMami won a signed copy of BabyFat last week...alls I'm sayin.) I cannot wait to laugh with y'all again! Click here to subscribe to the next show and let's ignore the fact that for the first time in my life I actually scheduled something in advance. 

See you tomorrow, Internet. 

#BabyFat: Truth in Advertising

It's day SIX of the #BabyFat Launch Countdown and I've got the Chapter six quotable to share today! The part that kicks ass? I have 28 chapters and launch day is September 28. I know. Don't ask me how I planned this because I didn't. Thank you, Universe, for the happiest of accidents.

This gem comes from @KimCormack, who is totally on my Christmas card list simply because I like truth in advertising.

Feel free to share the living bajeebus out of these quotables, Internet. Have your way with the, on social media because I need your help to keep the Amazon Hot New Release momentum going through September 28 for the official launch! Just be sure to tag me and remember the #babyfat hashtag, please and thank you.

Don't forget! I am hosting a special giveaway for you pre-order peeples. Anyone who purchases the kindle version through September 27 and emails me a copy of your receipt will be in the running for a signed copy of Brittany GibbonsFat Girl Walking. Sister-girl is kicking ass with her latest book and I am so excited to offer her book as a prize for my readers. To be eligible, email me at aspiringmama@gmail.com and write "BabyFat Preorder Contest" in the subject line. Contest is open to US and Canada only. 

Don't forget to click for details on my newsletter contest. Anyone who signs up by launch day is eligible for a signed copy of BabyFat! And every Tuesday night at 9 p.m. EST through launch day I'll be on Blab hosting a live reading from the book and taking your questions. We had a blast last week. I cannot wait to laugh with y'all again! Click here to subscribe to the next show and let's ignore the fact that for the first time in my life I actually scheduled something in advance. 

See you tomorrow, Internet. 

#BabyFat: Cupcake Math

You think I'd have had a bigger clue that come my book launch, I'd lose all semblance of sanity. It's not like I'm new at this. But it is like I'm new at this. Both statements are true and make sense because I am now officially insane. See how it all comes full circle?

Let's just cut to the chase and ooooh and ahhhhhhhhh over the chapter five Babyfat Tweet Lead-in by @VicaeriousChels, because I laugh every time I read these words...

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Feel free to share the living bajeebus out of these quotables, Internet. Have your way with the, on social media because I need your help to keep the Amazon Hot New Release momentum going through September 28 for the official launch! Just be sure to tag me and remember the #babyfat hashtag, please and thank you.

Don't forget! I am hosting a special giveaway for you pre-order peeples. Anyone who purchases the kindle version through September 27 and emails me a copy of your receipt will be in the running for a signed copy of Brittany GibbonsFat Girl Walking. Sister-girl is kicking ass with her latest book and I am so excited to offer her book as a prize for my readers. To be eligible, email me at aspiringmama@gmail.com and write "BabyFat Preorder Contest" in the subject line. Contest is open to US and Canada only. 

Don't forget to click for details on my newsletter contest. Anyone who signs up by launch day is eligible for a signed copy of BabyFat! And every Tuesday night at 9 p.m. EST through launch day I'll be on Blab hosting a live reading from the book and taking your questions. We had a blast last week. I cannot wait to laugh with y'all again! Click here to subscribe to the next show and let's ignore the fact that for the first time in my life I actually scheduled something in advance. 

See you tomorrow, Internet. 

#BabyFat: I'm Indefatigable

I have really smart friends. so smart, in fact, that I sometimes need a thesaurus - or google- to help me figure out if they are calling me bad words or complimenting me. When Issa Mas shared the Amazon link for #BabyFat in a Facebook update, I replied with a thank you. Because the support of my friends is so very appreciated. Then I looked up "Indefatigable" because she said I was and it's Issa so I figured it was a good thing but my brain was all ???? 

Turns out, Issa was paying me a very big compliment. I love her for that. And now I have a new word to work into a sentence every day this week. Maybe. 

Don't forget! I am hosting a special giveaway for you pre-order peeples. Anyone who purchases the kindle version through September 27 and emails me a copy of your receipt will be in the running for a signed copy of Brittany GibbonsFat Girl Walking. Sister-girl is kicking ass with her latest book and I am so excited to offer her book as a prize for my readers. To be eligible, email me at aspiringmama@gmail.com and write "BabyFat Preorder Contest" in the subject line. Contest is open to US and Canada only. 

Before I log off to go and finish a bazillion things before my 8 p.m. #Chingonafest #Blab show featuring Dior Vargas, let me share with you the Chapter Four Tweet Lead-in for #BabyFat! Thank you, @JennSpiller, for being part of my story.

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Don't forget to click for details on my newsletter contest. Anyone who signs up by launch day is eligible for a signed copy of BabyFat! 

See you tomorrow, Internet.