I've got a list of agents to query, a letter almost 100-percent ready to go, a pretty and polished proposal, 27 completed chapters, and that special combination of Ego and Angst us Creative Types are known for making the nerves just a little jumpier with every day that goes by. What if the agents point and laugh when they see my ideas and my words? What if (worse) you point and laugh if when the book is actually published?
I'm sitting here as anxious as I was as I waited for my first date to pick me up, wondering if he'll say I look pretty after all the time I spent on my make-up and the 14 outfit changes I went through before deciding on Just The Right One.
I know it's human nature. Part of the process. And I know it's going to become more pronounced as I get closer to Hitting Send on the email queries and sticking the stamps on the hard copies before slipping them into the mail box.(And I'm pretty close...so it's getting pretty pronounced.)
But then I remind myself to hold on to the moments when Ego beats out Angst and remember that half-smile I saw in the mirror when as I finished getting ready on that date long so long ago...
It doesn't matter when he says...
I already think I look pretty.
And if he doesn't think so, that's okay, too...because he's not the only boy in the world.