Because I enjoy talking to myself, I've decided to commemorate my 300th blog post by having one ego interview the other. It's been months since I have done something like this, and frankly, I've kinda missed me and my witty banter. Let's not focus on the fact that I started the blog in August of 2009 which means I a) have no life b) think sleep is over-rated or c) have no life and instead focus on the fact that I obviously have no life. If this is your first time, let me explain the rules. I am a writer. Which gives me Creative License. Which also allows me to do things like talk to and argue with myself for the sake of my Art and by no means indicates any need for therapy or medication. This Creative License thing also allows me to totally make shit up, but that would be too easy, which is why I write non-fiction. (Side note: my reality is too crazy to make up, anyway.)
Today's scenario: I am a hopeful writer with a completed manuscript in search of an agent and dreaming of book deals, book tours, and being able to afford more shoes after the first royalty check comes in. Wait a minute...
*Aspiring Mama: The snarky, cheeky mama writer who happens to eerily match the description of today's scenario.
*Pauline: The cheeky, snarky mama writer who also happens to eerily match the description in today's scenario.
Aspiring Mama: So, um, what's the point of this again?
Pauline: You are supposed to ask me deep, thought-provoking questions that allow me to showcase my brilliance.
Aspiring Mama: So I'm supposed to answer them for you, too?
Pauline: Let's not confuse the issue here. Or the readers. I think they are already a bit scared.
Aspiring Mama: I know I am. I'm talking to myself. (taking a deep breath) So let's go with something easy. You are celebrating your 300th blog post today. Anything exciting planned?
Pauline: Are you serious? It's a Sunday, The Husband sleeps during the day because he works at night, and I don't have a sitter. So by exciting, if you are referring to this blog post being counted as my only adult interaction during my waking hours and watching Yo, Gabba, Gabba with Buttercup before getting her into bed, waking him up and making his lunch before he leaves for work, then hell yeah. It's a party.
Aspiring Mama: (Clearing throat) Sounds like a great time. (Mutters under breath) Remind me not to ask you how you're doing.So, a lot of blogger peeples like to point out a few favorite blog posts during these occasions. Got any you'd like to highlight for your imaginary fans?
Pauline: Of course! Read up and marvel at my brilliance. (Or snicker quietly and pat me on the head.)
There are more, obviously, but I'm running on empty so let's just move on to the next question, shall we?
Aspiring Mama: Good deal. What else do you have going on? Aside from narrowing down the number of shoes you will purchase when you do make it big and get that book deal.
Pauline: Aside from this enthralling self-conversation, you mean?
Aspiring Mama: Hey, I'm amused.
Pauline: Good, you can comment when no one else does. So what do I have going on? A book I finished. An agent I am searching for. A waist I am busting my ass to find beneath my muffin top. Basically, lots of hurry up and wait with some big dreams and a shit load of effort thrown in for good measure.Oh, and Oprah's couch is out. So I'm hoping Ellen and The View ladies think I am hilarious.
Aspiring Mama: That would be where the Aspiring part of the Mama comes in, I'm guessing.
Pauline: You know me so well. And it only took 300 blog posts.