For those who wish to skip the following shenanigans, here is Cheat Sheet of Convenience #1.
*I reported Stephanie for spam on twitter by accident.
*She went all Ooph on me and demanded a public apology involving The Chicken Dance.
Cheat Sheet of Convenience #2: The Cali Curse
There isn't one. I didn't have time to write it before jumping in the unmarked car and joining The Federal Blogger's Protection Program