Go the F*ck to Sleep

Love it or hate it.

Those seem to be the only camp divisions when it comes to Adam Mansbach's new not really for children children's book, Go the F*ck to Sleep. It's really more of a I Finally Got The Little Bastards into Bed after Promising Them Ponies and Rainbows and Am Seriously Hoping I can Convince Them the Entire Conversation Was Just a Dream Because There is NO F*CKING WAY I am Buying Them a Pony and Amazon Doesn't Have Rainbows Available for Free Shipping and Good F*CKING GAWD I Need a Glass of Wine Right Now kinda nights.

Do I even need to clarify which camp T-shirt I brought home?

My favorite page?

The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest

And the creatures who crawl, run, and creep.

I know you're not thirsty. That's bullsh*t. Stop lying.

Lie the f*ck down, my darling, and sleep.

Why? Because I have BEEN here. And honestly, so has every parent in the world at some point in time. The silently uttered F-bombs are optional, of course, but you've been there, too. In between the hugs and the kisses and But Daddy I'm scared's and Mama I need to potty's, a few How the hell long is it going to take to get this kid to f*cking sleep tonight's start to work their way into the good ole' internal dialogue.

Adam Masbach didn't invent the wheel, people. He just wrote about it first.

Well played, Adam. Well played.