Two: the number of dollars HC Palmquist handed to Buttercup to cover her tip for Buttercup's painted toes last weekend. Probably because she wanted to speed things along and didn't trust me to tip anyone properly after I got stuck with the We Ran Out of Room But Are Still Going to Charge You Full Price spa chair. Also probably because the chair punched my spleen. I didn't like it.
Shank: Like prison except not because it was used in a direct message to HC. Exact verbage:
Forgot to shank you for Buttercup's tip.
Auto correct: That would be my personal kryptonite.
Tears: What I was wiping away while trying to control the laughter while writing HC yet another twitter DM.
And by Shank I totally meant Thank. Although both are grammatically correct.
Abdominal muscles: The part of me that hurts from trying not to spit water onto my keyboard after reading the following response :
Here's a tip: shanking a friend is not the proper response for not getting the good spa chair.
Of course: As in, it isn't. It was auto correct, dammit. Not a Freudian slip! I'm too pretty for prison.
Original thought: There are none in blogging. Robin O'Bryant wrote a hilarious post with this format and I feel like I know her well enough to take the format, add some typos and improper language and call it my own.
Shank you: And you're also very welcome.