Mamavation Monday: The Other Side of Yesterday

One step forward. Two steps back.

Three steps forward. And I've already won.

I should have seen it coming. I know me. How my head works. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl and maybe it has to do with the leftover eating disordered baggage and maybe it doesn't, but it doesn't really matter. This is where I am right now.

Two weeks ago I was months into a clean eating, loving to and making the time to work out, feeling good inside and out kind of routine. Then I decided to sprain my ankle while making a sandwich for The Husband, because obviously I was supposed to hire a personal trainer first and Get In Shape For That Shit. Or maybe I didn't do enough pre-sandwich-making stretching. Either way, the result was me in an emergency room, my foot in a brace, and orders from the nurse to keep my ass parked on the couch for a few weeks.

It didn't happen instantaneously. I didn't wake up the very next day and decide that raiding the pantry for salty carbs and chocolate because I was still holding strong. I was still focusing on how healthy I felt. Forget taking weight "off your shoulders." Taking it off my middle by reducing the bloat with limited sugars and processed foods made all the difference for me.

Until I woke up on the other side of yesterday and realized where I had landed. On my face. Hiding from the scale. Doing the Mommy version of the Toddler Potty Dance, only my dance is way less cute because it involves trying to shove my fat ass into the jeans that fit me perfectly two weeks ago. They still button, mind you. But unless I'm going for that Purposeful Muffin Top Look (and what the hell is that about, anyway?) it's a total nu-uh, Mama. Try again. There, that pair. Shut up about how they look. They fit. Right?

I did an hour long yoga session the night before last.

I polished off a package of dairy free gluten-free chocolate chip cookies last night.

I passed up on serving a heaping side of bullshit and instead wrote about the reality inside my head. It's not always funny. But it is me. And this is what I need to write about for now. I'll continue to go through the motions for a few days or so, maybe a week. I'll pay lip service to giving a damn, eat a few more things that I shouldn't, work out less than I should, and eventually wake up on the other side of tomorrow reveling in the success of having weathered another storm.

One step forward.

Two steps back.

Three steps forward. And I've already won.