Wait for the Punchline (Or: Does this Feel like Deja Vu?)

I originally posted this in June. And considering that Thursday is the day for Very Important Test at the Baby Making Doctor's office after a recent appointment that totally had me getting very well acquainted with a test tube , I figured this was as good a time as any to remind y'all what's at stake here (read: my sanity) while simultaneously pissing myself off with the reminder that addition sucks when the equation involves time passed and scales that hate you.
Wait, did I just digress?

Random Rambling with a point (which makes it not so random, but work with me, here.)

*I lost the baby weight.

*All 40 plus pounds of it.

*It only took me about three and a half years. But who’s counting?

*I am.

*Shut up.

My waistline is purty.


*Bu-bye, muffin top.

*Mama needs a new pair of capris! (Size 14 in the petite section at Coldwater Creek, please)


*I am obviously the word’s tallest midget measuring in at 5’6” with legs that probably belong on an Oompa Loompa.


*I outgrew (undergrew?) the selection at Lane Bryant

*Is that even a word?

*I am still waiting for the parade in my honor, people

*Still waiting…

*I have kicked my sweet tooth to the curb, embraced clean eating, and am all about embracing my inner hippy self

*Which? Means yoga for my insides and homemade soaps and lotions for my outsides

*Someone talk me out of opening my own Etsy store!

*No, really. I’m serious.

*Deadly serious.

*I have a cucumber and lemon habit.

*And an orange habit.

*Which is better than the mall pretzel habit I had when I was pregnant with Buttercup.

*And you know, for the two years after I pushed her out my hoo-ha.

*The Husband thinks I am HAWT.

*Like, for realz and not in that I love you no matter what you look like kind of way.

*Yes, I am only a little bit shallow.

*It’s okay. He is a lot a bit shallow.

*Yes, he freely admits this.

*Which is ironic because now that I am rocking my sexy self again








*Wait for it, because that isn’t the punch line….

*This is…

*I agreed to try and went to the fertility doc and started popping Clomid like Tic Tacs.

*And now? We wait…

*And practice.

*He likes it when I tell him we have, ahem, homework.

*And I tell my waistline I love her every night before I go to sleep.




The End