I'd Have Stuck To One Topic But The Pharmacuetical Grade Speed Hasn't Kicked In Yet

Maybe it's the phase of the moon. Or perhaps it's my head adjusting to new meds. Or it could just be that my Muse decided to clock out without notifying me and is currently sipping mimosas by the pool at some beach side resort while I sit here staring at my blog wondering what the hell I'm going to write about. If it's the latter, that bitch is so fired.

Until I figure out where my motivation went, I'll thank the Universe for providing me with a few bits of awesomeness to fill this space. Hopefully, my motivation will find its way back home by Wednesday, with that being my next regular posting day, and all.

And now?


The First Bit of Awesomeness

My friend Jenna Glatzer must have stolen my scale, as is evidenced by the following Facebook posting:

Dear Bathroom Scale, I've been eating nothing but bird food and cereal for 2 weeks. You are now supposed to show me a LOWER number as a reward for my efforts. I don't mean to question your competence as a scale, but I just thought I'd point out that you seem to be doing it wrong. If you need help understanding how to lower your numbers, please ask my bank account.


The Second Bit of Awesomeness


It's Back to the 80's week at Funny Not Slutty, y'all. I was lucky enough to be included in the awesomeness, which happened to work out nicely since I was still in possession of The Funny. We've got 80's babies and leotards and John Cusack and a whole bunch of, like, neon-colored, multi-bangled hilariousness going on over there from a boatload of talented women. Click on over, read my piece on what the M in MTV should stand for these days, and save me a trip to my therapist with a little ego boost I like to refer to as A Comment.



The Third Bit of Awesomeness

You know that An Army of Ermas site I contribute to? (This is the part where you nod your head and say yes because even if you didn't know before you know NOW and will spend your coffee break catching up so you don't have to lie next time) My editor over there, Angie Mansfield, decided I was worth an interview on her blog, The Wandering Zebra and it would be ever so sweet if you'd pop on over, laugh in the right spots, and leave a comment to make me look good for The Powers That Be. (This is the part where you nod your head and...oh never mind. I see you are already familiar with this program. Carry on.)


The Fourth Bit of Awesomeness

Remember that LifeProof iPhone case contest? You know, the one for the case that you can pretty much do anything with and STILL have a working phone? Want to know who gets a free case in their choice of color? I'll tell you. Or rather, Random.org selected one of you lucky bastards and I get to pass on the good news. Shelley Oswald will soon be tweeting from the shower with her purple LifeProof case JUST BECAUSE SHE CAN.

Thank you to LifeProof for sponsoring the contest and to all of you for entering.


The Fifth Bit of Awesomeness

This one is my favorite.

There's gonna be a wedding, y'all. And I'm gonna be a bridesmaid! Congratulations to my BFF Heather and her new fiance Dave. Buttercup approves, so you guys are all clear to proceed with the planning on the nuptials.

Happy Monday, you crazy kids.