An Ode to My ADHD

I'm tweaking out, people. My head feels like it's in a vice and if I was still smoking, I'd tell you that I really needed a cigarette break right now. But since I've replaced the need for nicotine with a prescription for pharmaceutical grade speed, I'll be honest and tell you that I only took one of my two pills today and I am pretty sure the fact that I'm counting the minutes until 8 a.m. tomorrow when I take my next dose means I'm probably about two steps removed from a twelve step program and a sponsor. I didn't forget it. I didn't take it on purpose. The doctor tells me that skipping doses when I don't have to do anything important will keep my body guessing, thereby making the dose I am on work longer before it has to be adjusted and I start responding to Mama, I'm hungry with Not now, sweetie. Mommy hasn't taken her speed yet.

All of that was a really long-winded way of saying that the rest of this post will be a series of randomly connected thoughts because my brain is having a party right now and the music is too loud for me to concentrate. Also? Who wants coffee? Or can I down this whole pot I just made?

Random thought #1 - 

I'm writing this at 5:50 p.m. on Sunday evening. The Husband has been at work for three hours now and I didn't put a bra until I showered after he drove off for the first shift of a three month stint on swings. I don't know about you, but the bittersweet thrill of my almost kindergartner being out of my hair from 7:40 a.m. - 2:40 p.m. is kind of lost when you take into consideration that The Husband will be out of bed around 10 a.m. and leave for work just thirty minutes before I have to pick up Buttercup from school. That leaves me with a grand total of maybe 20 actual minutes to myself every day where I don't have to pretend I'm not slowly going insane.

Total buzz kill.



Random thought #2 -

Deciding to do an impromptu deep cleaning of the refrigerator is a really good way to remember that the last deep cleaning much longer ago than is socially acceptable.

Exhibit A:


Random Thought #3-

This coffee is fantastic. No, I'm not sharing.



Random thought #4-

Grounding an only child from television for the rest of the day because she decided to chew on a single piece of steak for 20 minutes -- because I HAVE NO IDEA --  instead of finishing her dinner so I could give her a Popsicle and turn on Nick Jr. so I could ignore her until bed time while doing some cleaning and writing something without feeling like a horrible mother is a really bad idea.

Note: The bad idea thing refers to the no T.V. thing. Keep up with me, class.



Random thought #5-

The same child who is driving me bat shit crazy today is the same child I love more than life itself. When she isn't driving me bat shit crazy. I'm also pretty certain she's a genius and no I am not bragging because it's not fun to be out-logicalled (shut up. It's called poetic license when a writer makes up a word) by a five-year-old in front of other people.

Exhibit B (a conversation):

Mom, calcium is good for us, right?


Good for our bones and growing and being strong?


I'd like some cookies to dip in a cup of calcium, Mom. Because that will be so yummy and healthy for me! Right, Mom?


Clarification: That last part was in my head.