A Note to My Future Self

 

My kid didn't make it to school today. Mainly because she was crabby and I was too tired to argue when she grabbed my neck and asked me to snuggle for just a second. Two hours later I realized that I had been had, firmly told the child that this is her one free pass at playing hookie in her entire public school career, and then called the school and said I was sick and couldn't drive her in today.

I'm waiting for Buttercup to walk up to the teacher tomorrow and totally call me out on the not being sick thing because, like most five-year-olds, this child is honest to a fault. I'm also considering bribing her with the promise of a new book this weekend if she agrees to the not making me look like a crappy parent by outing me at school. And while I realize that I'm actually making myself look worse by admitting all of this here, I'm frankly still recovering from five days of insanity in New York City, thereby too tired to give a shit.In my defense, though, I have worked with Buttercup on four pages of one of her kindergarten work books and she's read to me, so aside from learning that Mommy is a hypocrite, she's also, you know, learning. So there is that.

I've also unpacked my suitcase, duffel bags, and briefcase and realized that for all the noise I made about not caring and not over packing like I did in 2010 that I totally put entirely too much thought into Other People's Opinions and over packed to the point that every person who saw my luggage pile commented on how much I over packed.

So here's a list for my future self to refer to should I find myself packing a suitcase of six for a two day conference again. I'm writing this for me here because it's the only place I won't be able to lose the list, but you're welcome to point and laugh as you read along.

Conference Packing Notes for Future Pauline

(This is the what NOT to take list)

* Yoga mat. Because why? There's not a lot of time to sleep, let alone get down with finding my zen. And when there happens to be a few moments to breathe, it's more likely being spent trying to cram a lifetime of OHMYGAWDICANTBELIEVEWEFINALLYGETTOMEETINPERSON into approximately 48 hours.

* Yoga pants, gym shoes, and willpower. Exactly.

* Cute little designer purse that I managed to grab on clearance a few years ago. It's been packed for two conferences and stayed in the suitcase for just as many. Frankly, unless it has room for my laptop, a boatload of business cards, my portable chargers for the iPhone I'm going to kill three times before lunch for all of the instagramming and tweeting and facebooking, and snacks that won't kill me because I can't eat anything available, I'm not going to use it. Just stick with the business tote The Husband was nice enough to buy you for this BlogHer for this exact reason. He's might be a total ass at times, but he's not an idiot.

* Evening bag/clutch. Because. Seriously. Moving on.

* Four-inch, heavy, impractical, and impossibly adorable espadrille wedges. So maybe I found a reason to wear these bad boys merely so I could justify having brought them with me, but if I have taken it upon myself to search my archives and come across this post while packing a future conference suitcase, just set the wedges down and walk away. Trust me.

* Four dresses, 1 pair of jeans, 2 t-shirts, flip flops, ballet flats, and that snazzy pair of patent leather effme stilettos I only wore for a combined total of about 3.5 seconds during a TWO DAY CONFERENCE???? Leave it. All of it. Instead, pack two dresses that can be dressed up with ballet flats and down with flip flops or a broken in pair of converse, one pair of jeans, 1 blouse/top/t-shirt, the jammies, and call it a fucking day.

Sincerely,

Pauline