Breadless Banana Bread

Let me start by saying that I am not a food blogger. In my five years of blogging I think I may have posted two cooking projects on the blog, so be kind if I look like I have no clue what I'm doing.

Now, while I stick to the literary stuff over here, my instagram feed is full of What I Ate for (Insert Meal Here) pics. A lot has changed in the last few years regarding my health and necessary dietary changes are the rule, not the exception. Instagram has been a connector in that its allowed me to find others on the same #paleo bandwagon as me. (Yes, I just hashtagged that. Because that's how I roll. And those nifty little hashtags once known as pound signs preceeding each key word are the rabbit hole of Insagram-Land leading you to everybody else who drinks the same Kool-Aid you do.)

I'm allergic to everything and I'm not exaggerating. Apples, dairy, all grains, gluten, eggs, soy.... you name it and it's probably on my list. To make things even more interesting, I have to avoid natural stevia products because it tends to mess with my insulin resistance. It seems that sugar or not, my body treats it the same and then just hates me when the sugar it expected never actually hits my system, leaving me with more insulin my body can't process.

And then there's the autoimmune protocol diet I'm following to combat my numerous issues. That takes away all beans (including coffee, cacao, and vanilla), tomatoes (bu-bye spaghetti squash happiness), and so...much..more. I'm also sensitive to phyto-estrogens and have to avoid a lot of the little I had left keeping me sane. Olive oil, sweet potatoes, pistachios and almonds, asparagus are just a few of the newly banned items. I could list them all, but that would just depress both of us, I think, so I'll stick to telling you what I can eat.

Ready? Just don't blink cuz it's gonna be quick...

* Wild caught fish

* Grass-fed beef

* Bison

* Coconut EVERYTHING

* Avocados

* Cucumbers

*Kale

 *Spinach

* Scallops

* Maple syrup (in small quantities)

* And?

Wait. Never mind. That was pretty much it.

All this fanfare isn't to make anyone feel sorry for me. Yes, traveling is a bitch and going out to eat is pretty much not something I can do, like, ever, but it is what it is. Suck it up and deal, my friends. Also? It's a miracle what you can come up with with such a severely limited diet. Necessity is the mother of invention, my friends, and this mother isn't about to let a little food allergy issue keep me from having a good time in the kitchen.

A few nights ago I posted a picture -- yes, on instagram -- of my latest concoction. I needed something sweet after my canned wild-caught salmon and sliced avocado dinner and I got to work in the kitchen, mentally mixing flavors in my head with the safe foods I have available. I ended up with what I call Breadless Banana Bread because that's what it reminds me of. The result was magic, my kid hated it, and I didn't complain because that just meant more for me.

 

What you need:

* 1 banana (I used a ripe one because I hate fruit flies)

* 4 cups of good quality shredded coconut (and no, I don't mean the crap that tastes like paper sold in the baking aisle)

* 2 tablespoons of pure maple syrup (or according to taste)

Now for the directions. Hold on to your hats, boys and girls, so you don't get lost.

Ready?

 

Step 1: Throw that shit in a food processor or a Vitamix and process it until it looks like cookie dough.

Step 2: stick a spoon in that bad boy and smile.

 

And there ya have it. Maybe one day next week I'll try making it and adding a dollop of homemade coconut milk whipped cream on top. For now, though, the rest of my Breadless Banana Bread is sitting in a pretty little covered bowl in my fridge for when I need another bite.