I swear this was going to be hilarious while I was prepping my blog post inside my head. But then I sat down, realized I've got diddly after a rather punchy title, and now I'm staring down the blinking cursor because it's taunting me with a rather effective side-eye. I wonder if this is the first sign that I'm officially almost 40. Or that I'm actually 38 years old and 1 day, which is the same as 729 days short of planting flamingoes and filling my home with black balloons. I could be totally wrong on the math there, considering it's the best thing I'm bad at.
See what I did there? If you missed it, just nod your head and smile. I get to feel like I did something right, you get to listen to me shut up faster, and we all win this way. Don't fuck it up.
Since I'm clearly filling white space here just for the sake of self-indulgent ego stroking, I'll be a good girl and get back to that point I'm not sure I ever really had to begin with; namely, that dollar I need to borrow from you. I promise I'll pay you back. Or we can eliminate the middle man if you just click here and by the kindle version of BabyFat because I was going to use the dollar you loaned me to buy you the book, anyway, because it's on sale through the end of the holiday season.
I know. I know...
*Puffs up chest proudly*
I have that effect on people, sometimes.