Pinktified: In Defense of Makeup

Our girls can't be bossy anymore because leadership skills don't sound bitchy

We can't let them play with barbies because they promote unhealthy body image and Princess culture is too pink. 

Pink? Yeah. About that. It's gender confirming and we are sending them straight to the therapist if we let them like it. 

We shouldn't tell them they are pretty because they'll grow up to think pretty is all they are and that their brains don't matter and their bodies are the It Factor for how they are and will be perceived physically. Pink will become the entire basis of their self-worth and we just can't have that now, can we?

Makeup is the new evil - which sounds way more sinister than Orange Being the New Black - because we are supposed to love ourselves as we are and Hello Bad Example for the Littles!

Dolls don't encourage critical thinking and are bad for self-esteem and will never be the reason a future engineer decided to pursue a fulfilling career.

High heels are sexist and only feed into the ideal that women dress for men and sex is the only thing that sells, so skip the plastic princess heels and hand her something - ANYTHING AND DO IT QUICK, DAMMIT - that isn't Pink, Frilly, Princessy, to steer her back in the "right" direction which, I might add, is NOT the girly pinkified toy section at Toys R Us. 

Ya know what? I'm sick of it. Tired of having to defend the pink my kid declared her favorite color when she was two even though her father and I painted her nursery a gender neutral shade of green. I'm done with Bossy/Bad Leadership Skils/Good because you guys? IT'S ALL BULLSHIT

Don't get your panties in a bunch, people. I tell her she's pretty AND smart because Jenni Chiu said to. I buy her the pink because she wants it and tell her she can go right on ahead wearing her frilly tutu over her riding pants and I don't get pissy it gets muddied up and smells like horse at the end of her lessons. And she plays with her dolls before she sits down to read fucking Shakespeare because she's almost 8 and she's fucking brilliant and she knows it and that's okay, too. 

Maybe for some girls, Barbie triggers feelings that need to be addressed and therefore should be avoided (and maybe it's not Barbie because Deflecting Barbie isn't A Thing yet). Maybe pink is too girly for the girls who are anything but. Maybe makeup is a disguise for the insecure and maybe that little girl running recess like a military training camp is perhaps being a total bitch and YES IT IS OKAY TO TELL HER TO STOP BEING SO DAMNED BOSSY. 

But you know what? Maybe Nicki from Nickie Tutorials is right. Her video, posted above, got me all riled up for the right reasons. Thing is, this brain-numbing mindset is not just limited to makeup. It's everything. The love of pink does not mean your girl will never aspire to be amazing. Wearing makeup isn't going to teach her that she's only worth YOUR approval when she's all glammed up unless that's how you feel and she picks up on that vibe. Our kids, and I mean both our girls and our boys, are brilliant little people who pick up on our inner workings and take a piece of that as part of the foundation of their future selves. 

If you think you're a fat ass and food is bad and skinny is good, we've got a problem. If you tell her it's okay to love her body as it is while polishing off a dozen cupcakes because your feelings taste like chocolate then her feelings will taste like chocolate, too, and emotional eating will rule her life like the cruel master that any and all eating disorders are. If you tell her to love her body and she grows up with a healthy self image and happens to not be a size zero as an adult, you are not promoting fatness and encouraging her to never strive for whatever healthy means for her and her body type. 

If you criticize yourself in front of them, even if you're just frowning at your reflection in the mirror while sucking in your gut, they are listening even when we think they are not and its that voice - OUR VOICE - that they hear in their heads telling them they aren't good enough now and probably won't be - not now and not ever - when they find themselves standing in front of a mirror ten years from now. 

And if we keep going this way, we are only circling right back to that place where pretty, skinny, perfect, and pink actually were words that meant out girls had to hide their smarts because no boy would want them; where dolls were for girls because they were considered too delicate and fragile to run wild through the grass barefoot with the boys, and where her future as a doctor would have been traded for her future as the pregnant house wife with no aspirations other than to make more babies and have dinner in the table when her husband arrives home from his day at the office. 

We need to stop, you guys. We need to stop limiting this celebrating of ourselves to not include anything we may think does not fit our personal description. We need to stop criminalizing what we think is holding us back because in doing so, we are telling the Girly Girl that she's not as fabulous as the Sporty Girl and the Princess Girl that she can't be a Super Hero Princess and Tutu Lover that Tutus are Bad because she loves tutus and that must mean SHE is bad when she's not and... they aren't and you aren't and I'm not because OHMYFUCKINGGAWD!!! 

I'm the mother of a pink-loving, tutu-wearing, always bossy/sometimes bitchy, Chingona Princessy Future CEO of whatever the hell she wants to be and I'm proud. And guess what? So is she.

You can go right on ahead telling your Jock Girl that she doesn't have to wear pink if she doesn't want to. Because she doesn't have to. You can skip the makeup of it makes you feel like you aren't you with it on. Because you are the best you when you feel comfortable with the face looking you back in the mirror. 

When my kid is putting on her best game face while posing in a super hero stance in her Wonder Woman bathing suit and positioning her head just so as to keep her sparkly tiara from falling to the floor, please leave your opinion out of the picture I'm taking, capturing the moment my little girl is every bit the person she is meant to be