I’m all Good Intentions right now but not getting beyond the Intending To part right now. Happens every year. Situational depression tied to my dad dying the day after thanksgiving 11 years ago.
I’m barely able to work. My Apple Watch Streaks app is the only reason I’m showering and brushing my teeth right now.
The moments I post Something Productive Sounding are my bright spots. The ones I’m not here are me mentally muppet flailing as I try to Do the Next Thing.
I look fine.
I can laugh & chat with the neighbors. I can feed my kid. I can get dressed. I can be a complete and total smartass and crack all the jokes.
The Christmas tree is up. Most of my gift shopping is done. I’m listening to Christmas music. Even ordered my Christmas cards yesterday.
But of course I can only seem to focus on the fact that I somehow failed because I used to be able to get my cards out in the mail to recipients the day after Thanksgiving instead of the fact that I managed to do it at all.
I was fine a minute ago. I’ll be fine again soon. Right now I’m just in between steps. It’s the moments between where I get stuck.
If I owe you work, I’m trying. Listing that art I’m supposed to list on the Etsy Shop? I’m trying.
I’ll get it done.
Because I’m fine.
That’s the answer everyone expects when they ask other people how they’re doing, right?
Rinse. Lather. Repeat. And a Meh-velous Holiday Season to all.
(Note to self: