Get Ready for #BodyThanks

 

Are you ready for the #BodyThanks twitter party?

Tonight is the night and August McLaughlin and I are so excited to start off the holiday season with an evening dedicated to supporting each other and honoring all that we are.

Click here for party details and be sure to register by adding your twitter handle/URL on the linky to be eligible for prizes!

Spread the word, share the link, and let’s get #BodyThanks trending together. The holidays are difficult on those with body image, self-esteem, and eating disordered thinking (both active & recovering). Share the #BodyThanks love and we can join each other in a kick-ass show of support. Simply copy and paste this link to tweet, Facebook, pin, tumble, & Google + the #BodyThanks event for all it’s worth!

 

Supply & Demand: Return of Kings, Dating Girls with Eating Disorders, & My Response

Warning: This post -- and the links contained within -- contain possible triggers for those with eating disorders and body image issues. For that reason, I am purposefully placing the image associated with the original piece I'm commenting on below the fold. It's been 48 hours since I first learned about the much-talked about Return of Kings post entitled Five Reasons to Date a Girl with an Eating Disorder. Highlights include nuggets of wisdom like She's a Cheap Date and She's Fragile and Vulnerable. I won't lie; I read it three times. Not because I wanted to, mind you, but because the first two reads were almost blind. Like a gawker driving by a bad car accident, I couldn't take my eyes away from that they had just seen. My eyes had kept locking on the image of a woman in a little read dress and stilettos, hunched over a toilet with her fingers in her mouth, ready to force a purge.

Since it's publication last week, the site's publisher has issued a response to the resulting backlash. I'll give you a spoiler here and tell you now that the non-apology is almost worse than the original post, but (sadly) that is to be expected. ROK does not endorse eating disorders, they say. Rather (and this is the part where ROK pats themselves on their collective backs for their good graces) they proudly boasts their encouragement of America's single men not to "pass" on eating disordered women just because they have an illness.

Well, shit. Why didn't they say so in the first place? Silly people...we over-reacted!  Stigma = bad. Seeking out and preying upon the fragile emotional state of a woman in crisis = good!

I call bullshit.

But before anyone assumes I'm calling out the ROK site for piss-poor justifying the publishing of 5 Reasons to Date a Girl with an Eating Disorder, let me make one thing perfectly clear: Every single one of you 134k who liked this piece on Facebook get an equal share of the blame for providing the market.

Just like the media can't take the all of the blame for causing eating disorders, ROK cannot (and should not) be the sole focus of your outrage for trivializing them. While every one of the 5 reasons makes me cringe for fear of their impact on actively eating disordered women (and men) reading them, we must remember that without the demand, the supply eventually fades away.

Let me put it this way:

* Glossy magazines and emaciated models, headlines shaming celebs for gaining weight and praising them for their unrealistic thinness, and Hollywood approved diet pills and crazy fad diets...all of these topics (and more) are on a never-ending loop that keeps being re-written because we keep buying them.

Conclusion? We are part of the problem.

* ROK and 5 Reasons to Date a Girl with an Eating Disorder is disturbing (at best) and triggering (at worst). And while ROK's very existence makes me wish the internet came with a giant mute button, the site is incredibly popular with a loyal fan base that has given them the platform to continue publishing pro-fat shaming writings and stories like the one we all happen to be talking about now.

Conclusion: We are part of the problem.

People like this, y'all. And I don't just mean those who may have liked or otherwise shared the post in order to share in the outrage. I mean LIKED as in By Golly, That's Brilliant! That, my friends, is a very sad commentary reflecting right back on today's society. Then again, so is the fact that ROK received death threats because of 5 Reasons and its publication. To those of you who thought that little gem was the way to go, don't help. Just sit down, shut up, and let the rest of us finish this fight because you're not doing us any favors.

I'll be honest; when I sat down to write this my intention had been to list all the ways 5 Reasons is hurtful, harmful, and even dangerous. I was going to tell you about my failed attempts at anorexia (except for that one time I made it 4 months on just one apple and a single slice of cheese every day), but Rita Arens did an incredible job discussing anorexia and why ROK crossed the line in this BlogHer piece. As a woman who would most likely be singled out by ROK as a Fatty with No Self Control should they see this post, I was prepared to speak about Bulimia, binging and purging, and the emotional ship-wreck I was during that time period that guys I was dating hadn't realized was part of the package.

That's what I was going to do, but then I sat down to write and this is what happened.

If you've suffered through or are currently dealing with an eating disorder, the world is not made up entirely of assholes. There are plenty of us good-hearted souls who are here to help. Rita listed her email in her BlogHer post encouraging readers to reach out should the need help.

I'm here, too.

Aspiringmama@gmail.com.

 

 

Open for Business

 

I'm nothing if not chronically behind myself. But if I'm going with the Glass Half Full line of thinking, then I'm also fabulously consistent.

I started Girl Body Pride over a year ago with Big Dreams and Big Intentions. Slowly, things are falling into place. And I keep at it.

One of my goals has been to start an Etsy shop with quotable prints and canvases. Because I like the idea of Gifts that Keep On Giving, I decided to start out with digital files. I'm imagining homemade greeting cards, post cards, and framed prints for GBP readers to surprise their friends with under the Christmas tree.

Maybe I'm just being consistent again, but I can finally cross that To Do off of my incredibly convoluted list. I've got more to list and more dreams to turn into realities. For now, though, I'm going to take my own advice for once and just tell myself that right now, this is enough.

 

Honoring Ourselves with #BodyThanks

If I asked you what you are thankful for right now...what would you say?

Would you say you are thankful for your health? Your family and friends? Your job or the view from your bedroom window?

All of those and more, I would imagine. We're grateful for our kids and for our family pets and for flannel pajamas on cold winter nights. We thank the Universe for our coffee in the morning and our soft pillows at night. We thank the internet for existing and allowing us a creative outlet in whatever area of social media we've taken as our own path.

We are thankful for many things, even on the worst days. Those are the days nothing in the closet fits us right and we are so very cognizant of our battles with food, body, and self-image issues. We binge. We starve. We wish we were less. We want to be more.

We feel alone when we aren't on those days, and with Thanksgiving just a few days away, it's time for us to take just a moment to honor ourselves and our bodies ... just the way they are ... in a joint #BodyLove twitter party (November 25, 9-10 p.m. EST). I'm honored to have teamed up with the incredibly kick-ass August McLaughlin for this event and hope you are just as excited as we are.

So who are we, exactly? Allow us the pleasure of introducing ourselves via third-person bios, because that's who we writers like to exercise our license to be eccentric. It's okay. We're good with that, too.

 

About August

August McLaughlin is a Los Angeles-based health and sexuality writer with articles featured regularly by LIVESTRONG.com, DAME MagazineHealthy Aging magazine, IAmThatGirl and more. She’s also an internationally recognized certified nutritionist with specializations in eating disorders and sports nutrition. Before completing her first novel, In Her Shadow, she worked in the fashion, film and wellness industries, wearing hats ranging from Parisian runway model to culinary coach. Considering her longstanding passion for thrillers, she wasn’t surprised when her attempt at a memoir turned quickly into a fictional tale of suspense. August is represented by Jill Marr of Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency and loves connecting with fellow writers and readers! Learn more about August here.

About Pauline

Pauline Campos is founder of Girl Body Pride, a site born from the single realization that it was her actions and her words that will determine how her own daughter will see herself in the mirror as she grows more aware of the world outside of fairy tales and princesses. She also makes it a point to speak out on Girl Body Pride regarding the constant barrage of celebrity weight gain articles to hit the press. A former newsroom journalist with gigs at community newspapers before working at The Detroit News, Pauline is a regular contributor to 30SecondMom.com and has been featured on various websites. She blogs at www.aspiringmama.com, is Latina Magazine's #dimelo advice columnist, and shares her insight on the NPR Latino USA show in an advice segment called #LatinoProblems. Read more about Pauline here.

Details are still being finalized, so stay tuned. August and I will be posting updates on our blogs and via our social media channels as we confirm sponsors. For now, though, I can let one little piece of fabulous slip. BlogHer Deputy Editor Rita Arens, author of The Obvious Game (Inkspell, 2013), and an eating disorder survivor, has agreed to take part in the #BodyThanks discussion. Arens also has graciously offered a signed copy of her young adult novel --  about a young girl's changing world and the eating disorder with which she tries to control the uncontrollable -- to one lucky #BodyThanks participant. Please be sure to stop by Arens' blog, Surrender Dorothy.

You can thank us later.

Let's get this party started!

Spread the word, share the link, and let's get #BodyThanks trending together. The holidays are difficult on those with body image, self-esteem, and eating disordered thinking (both active & recovering). Share the #BodyThanks love and we can join each other in a kick-ass show of support. Simply copy and paste this link to tweet, Facebook, pin, tumble, & Google + the #BodyThanks event for all it's worth!

Register Here!

 

 


I'm going to the Voices of the Year Reception at #BlogHer15!
I'm going to the Evening at the Expo at #BlogHer15!
I'm going to the Multi-Culti Party at #BlogHer15!
I'm going to the Open Mic Salon at #BlogHer15!