Vlog on

I have a million blog posts in my head, sitting right alongside the 25k I waiting to be placed on the screen to finish up the book. That's right, people. I'm almost done with a book. Like, an entire one. The thought is way too surreal.

Anyway, I want to go the easy route today because I'm way behind on my writing schedule and really need to be a good little writer. So I'm going to use this post to let you know about a new feature I'm adding to my blog as of tomorrow. It's going to be called Story Time Saturdays and the plan is to showcase vlog posts showing myself or other writing peoples reading favorite stories to their children. Reading to Buttercup is a huge part of our relationship and I want to share that. I have a few writers lined up to share story time with their own kiddos and will choose my own favorites to throw in once or twice a month. More if the well runs dry.

Keep in mind, though...while Saturdays post is going to be family friendly, Friday's post might not be. I promise to do my best to limit the F-bombs to Sunday to Thursday...but please keep my #pottymouth tag in mind when sitting down with your kids to listen to a new tale on Saturdays. Bottom line? Just have the video cued up and ready to be safe if your kids can read. I'm still living down The Great Dam Gammit Incident of 2008 with my own child, and don't need any added guilt to add to my already tarnished Mom of the Year award points if your kids start repeating what I say.

And with that, I'm off to work on that making myself a famous writer thing.

Really Bad Foreshadowing

After two tantrums and a pouting session, I got a new video camera. I've got two here at home (one which I don't trust and the other which is such an annoying shade of pink that I was hard-pressed for coming up with an actual reason for needing a new one) which made my case almost impossible to prove with The Husband.

"I want a insert brand name here video camera."


"Because that's what everyone else on twitter is taking to Blogher."

"But isn't insert brand name here the one that glitched out on you when you tried uploading Priceless Memories a few years ago and haven't used it since because you stopped trusting it when you lost all the video?"


"So why do you want the new version?"

"Because that's what everyone else on twitter is taking to BlogHer."

And by everyone, I mean the two conversations I've had or witnessed with two separate people all giddy about the video camera that The Husband flat-out refused to buy for me after some online research, product review homework, and his final verdict. But he had no problem buying me another brand, which he said was Better because it did insert technical jargon here and blah blah blah and I didn't give a damn because I was regressing to being a 6 year-old again. We went to the store, left with The Husband-approved camera, swiped the credit card, and came home with a camera  I didn't even want to play with because it wasn't.the.one.I.wanted.

To be fair, I did give it a shot. At swim class with Buttercup. On the way home from a long day out with photos and video of some awesome cloud and rain action over the mountains. And then whenever The Husband was home, just so he could see I gave it a fair chance before telling him I just wasn't that into it.

Turns out I didn't have to.

"If you don't like it, we'll just return it and you can take both of your old cameras to BlogHer and you should be fine."

Sure they are teeny and sure, three total hours of video is a lot when you consider the actual length of most videos I'd ever be taking. But the sheer inconvenience of having to lug two embarrassingly obsolete models with me to New York was enough to take me back to the moment my father tried convincing me that the knock-offs from Pay-Less were just as Totally Cool as the K-Swiss the rest of my middle school class was wearing. I wasn't buying it.

So I pouted.

The Husband rolled his eyes, sighed, looked up at the ceiling as if to ask God why, and reminded me he had no problem buying me a different camera to replace my dinosaurs, but no way in hell was he buying me an insert brand name here because insert brand name here sucks ass in his humble opinion, and that would be a ridiculous waste of money.

And, more importantly, he now wanted an actual reason...like...one that would hold up in court, for why exactly I needed a new camera when I had at least one that actually worked, even if it was a sickening shade of pink and only took two hours of video with no expandable memory.

This is when I got quiet. It was essentially my last bite at the apple, and it had to be good. The Husband can spot bullshit a mile away, too, which makes my life very difficult and forces me to be creative.

So I thought up this list in my head:

* What if I meet the Manic Mommies and my blackberry (the only device I currently use to upload any images into my blog) fails me, leaving me with an awesome story and no proof?

* I need to be able to count on the fact that I can document meeting Juliette for the first time after spending a zillion minutes in contact with her over the past year, committing to writing a book with her (after Baby F(Ph)at is done, people...keep your panties on), publicly declaring her my TBFF (click the link and think about it for a minute, if you are confused.)

* I want to start posting vlogs on Aspiring Mama geared for the writing peeps. And I'd like to be able to do that without having to rely on someone else to be here to film me or having to contort myself into advanced yoga positions to do so.

* I want...

And this is where I got interrupted because it turns out I was verbally reciting my list as I thought it silently in my head, and I'd finally said something that The Husband thought was a valid Reason.

So we got in the car. We drove to Best Buy. And I came home with a Sony Bloggie.

I am happy because:

* It's cute.

* It has a cute name.

* I can film myself without having to contort into advanced yoga positions.

and because

* my accountant will accept this blog post as a reason to add the Sony Bloggie to my tax write-off list for the coming year.

So stay tuned. I'll eventually post something on here that involves a bit less text. Feel free to lie and tell me it Doesn't Suck when I do.